Alright, Twilight nerding out over. You can all come back now. But for reals, I think about that a lot. Especially lately. "Technically" I'm "working" less than I was when had a "real" job. But I feel like I have 10x more work to do all. the. time. I felt like I had to give myself permission just to write this post. I think the main difference is that I actually care about what I'm doing everyday. I feel like it actually matters. Maybe not for anyone else, but for me. I'm raising a human being over here people. Big stuff. From the minute I wake up until the minute I go to bed, I am constantly doing something. Even just reading blogs or responding to comments has become a task that needs to be completed. I don't feel like I can just relax and check my e-mail/facebook/twitter because it just reminds of me of all the stuff I need and want to do.
I really didn't realize how much work running a household could take. Since I am home all day, I have taken on all of the household responsibilities except the outside chores. And I take pride in my work. I am kind of becoming OCD with the cleaning. I have to tell myself that it is ok to leave the house with toys in the living room while we run to the grocery store. "No one will be here while you are gone. It's ok if the house doesn't look perfect." I trip out over dirty dishes in the sink. Loads of laundry call out to me constantly. Every dust bunny in the corner stresses me out. Trying to figure out what I'm going to feed everyone else takes precedence over what I'm going to feed myself. By the time I finish feeding everyone, I don't even want to eat. I just want to sit down.
On top of that, Charles and I have both taken on a lot in the last few weeks. Charles started a new position that has him working ten hour days. Yes, it's only four days a week but by the time he gets home from work, he's exhausted. On his days off, he's exhausted. He's also trying to work on his photography and videography business but he barely has time to do anything with it. I am watching our friend's eight month old son two days a week so pretty much nothing gets done on Tuesday and Thursday from 7-4. I finally opened my etsy store. (Oh yeah, I did that. I haven't even had a chance to formally announce it but here's the link to it if you're interested. I plan to "officially" announce it, when I have time...) I feel like I never have time to work on new products or go hunting for new merchandise. I am going to school. It's only one class but it takes up a good chunk of the day on Friday. Oh, and I'm really trying to make time for exercise. I've managed to go twice this week at night after JC has gone to bed. Plus, don't really need to list this buuuuuut I am the primary caretaker of a 15 (oh dang, he's fifteen months old today! Another post I need to do.) month old toddler.
And on top of all that, I have my little blog here. I always find myself toiling with different ideas for posts but I never get around to writing them. I get on the computer, try to catch up on some of my favorite blogs, check twitter and before you know it, it's 1 AM. I don't mean to neglect you blog. It's because of you that I am doing everything else in my life right now! Because of blogging, I have found new passions and interests that I want to devote my time to. Because, while I am sorta complaining (ok, I'm complaining) about all the things I have to do, I'm really complaining about the lack of time available. Because I love all of the things that I do everyday. Ok, maybe not the laundry but I enjoy taking care of my family. I've always wanted to own my own business. I think I might have a real interest in web and graphic design. It's nice to get out and exercise. I really do feel better afterward.
So, in conclusion, blog, I love you. I promise I will try to post more than just Wordless Wednesday and Week in iPhone pictures. But it still would be pretty freaking sweet to not need sleep. Although, I do love me some sleep. Speaking of which, I'm getting in the shower and hittin the hay. I gots school tomorrow.
Thank you for listening to me complain.